The First 72 Hours After an Emergency: What Happens to Your Children?

12 June 2026

Most parents have had the conversation: “If something happened to us, who would take care of the kids?”


Maybe it came up on a long drive or during a late-night discussion. You reached an agreement—at least in your heads—and assumed the right people would step in if needed.


But unless that decision is legally documented, it doesn’t exist.


If something happened to you today, the decision about who raises your children would not belong to you. It would be made by a court and a judge who has never met your family.


When You Don’t Choose, a Judge Will


Many parents believe their family would naturally work things out. A sibling, grandparent, or close friend would step in, and everything would fall into place.

That’s not how the legal system works.


Without a legally named guardian, a judge appoints one. That decision is based on competing petitions, not your wishes. The court doesn’t know your values, your children’s needs, or the relationships that matter most.


Family conflict over custody of the kids (and often the money left behind for them)  is one of the most painful things that can happen to a family already in grief. Even well-meaning family members can end up in conflict—each believing they are the right choice. These disputes can be emotionally and financially draining at a time when everyone is already grieving.


Without a legally named guardian, the decision about who raises your children belongs to a judge, a court system, a process you never want the people you love to get trapped within. The people you trust most may have no legal standing to step in, no matter how obvious the choice seems to everyone in your family.


The First 72 Hours: The Gap Most Parents Miss 


Even parents who have named a guardian often overlook a critical question:

What happens immediately?


Who can:

  • Pick your children up from school?
  • Authorize emergency medical care?
  • Step in that same day, without waiting for court approval?


A will does not solve this problem. It only takes effect after a legal process—one that can take weeks or months.


In the meantime, no one has automatic legal authority.


If no plan is in place, authorities must follow protocol. That can mean temporary placement with strangers, not because anyone failed your children, but because no legal instructions were available.


This is one of the most common gaps in estate planning—and one of the most avoidable.


A complete plan names two things:

  • Long-term guardians (who will raise your children), and
  • Short-term caregivers (who can step in immediately)


Without both, there is a gap. And gaps are where already hard situations get much harder.


This is where having a Kids Protection Plan® changes what those first hours actually look like. The immediate guardian question, what happens in the first 72 hours, is just as important as the long-term one. Most parents have planned for neither.

  • Slide title

    Write your caption here
    Button

Why Parents Put This Off


For many parents, the hesitation isn’t a lack of care—it’s the weight of the decision.  The most common reason is that the decision feels permanent. And permanent feels like pressure. 


  • What if relationships change?
    What if the person you choose isn’t the right fit years from now?
    What if the conversation feels uncomfortable?


Here’s the reality: naming a guardian is not permanent. It can and should be updated as your life evolves.


What is permanent is failing to make a decision at all.


If you don’t choose, the court will.

What I tell my clients: Naming a guardian is a decision you can revisit and update. Not naming one is a decision you cannot take back.

How to Choose the Right Guardian


The right guardian is the person who would raise your children closest to the way you would raise them yourself. Here are the questions I walk my clients through, out loud, with their partner, and ideally with the person they are considering:


  • Values and parenting style. Does this person share your values in the ways that matter most, around faith, education, discipline, and community? Would your children recognize themselves in the home this person would create?
  • Willingness and actual capacity. Have you asked them directly? A guardian who is surprised by their nomination is not the same as one who said yes with a full understanding of what that role means.
  • Practical reality. Where does this person live? Would your children need to leave their school, their community, their friends? Is this person in a stage of life where they can realistically take on children?
  • Age and long-term health. A grandparent may be the most emotionally obvious choice, but may not be the most practical one over the full arc of your children's childhood.
  • Sibling relationships. If you have more than one child, will this person be able to keep them together? Are there any circumstances under which your children might be separated?
  • Backup guardians. What happens if your first choice can't serve? Illness, a change in circumstances, or a shift in the relationship could make your primary guardian unavailable. Naming one or two backups ensures there is always someone with clear legal authority to step in.
  • If you're naming a couple. Relationships change. If the couple you name separates or divorces, who becomes the guardian? Do they share responsibility? These are questions worth answering now, in writing, rather than leaving to a court later.


One more thing I make sure my clients understand:
a godparent is not a legal guardian. It's one of the most common misconceptions in estate planning. Verbal agreements, informal understandings, and family assumptions carry no legal weight. The only thing that matters is a properly executed legal document.


The guardian question is not simply "who do I trust?" It's "who would raise my children the way I would?" Those are often the same person. But asking the deeper question makes sure you're choosing for the right reasons.

Why This Isn't a Conversation to Have Alone


In my experience, naming a guardian is one of the most important decisions a parent will make. It is also one of the most connected decisions in an entire plan, and it doesn't work in isolation.


The person who raises your children and the person who manages your children's money may not be the same person, and
separating those roles is often exactly the right move. The best caregiver in your family may not be the best financial manager. A well-designed plan lets you make those two decisions independently.


It also raises a harder truth: a guardian named in a plan with no resources behind it is in an impossible position. Naming the right person means very little if there isn't a financial plan supporting them. These decisions: who cares for your children, how their lives will be funded, and what happens in the first 72 hours, don't exist in isolation. They connect to each other in ways that aren't obvious until something goes wrong. 


A strong plan ensures resources are available to support your children’s upbringing.

There's one more piece I bring up that most parents never think to ask about: you can also formally name the people you would never want raising your children. Not just who you want, but who you don't. When I do this with my clients, the document makes it highly unlikely that someone you'd never choose would even come forward as a candidate. This isn't something most attorneys offer as part of a standard plan, but in my view, it's one of the most protective things you can do for your children.

What You Can Do Right Now


If you have children at home and haven't named a guardian, or if you have, but only in a will and not part of a complete Kids Protection Plan, I want to help you change that today. Not because something is about to happen. Because if something did happen, you want to be the one who made that decision, not a judge who has never met your family.


I help families create a Life & Legacy Plan® that addresses who will raise your children, who will care for them immediately in a crisis, and how they will be provided for financially. I don't create one-size-fits-all documents, and the relationship doesn't end at signing. I take the time to understand your specific family, design a plan that actually works when the people you love need it most, and stay in a relationship with you so that when something happens, your family has someone to call who already knows what you wanted.


  • Slide title

    Write your caption here
    Button

Schedule a complimentary 15-minute discovery call to get started.



This material is provided for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute ERISA, tax, legal, or investment advice. Legal advice specific to your situation must be obtained separately. 

by Paul Suh • 21 October 2026
Family heirlooms can create unexpected conflict. Learn four ways to pass down meaningful belongings while protecting family relationships.
by Paul Suh • 15 October 2026
Women face unique estate planning considerations. Learn how to protect your family, finances, healthcare wishes, and future with thoughtful planning.
by Paul Suh • 7 October 2026
Learn how a pet trust can protect your pet’s future with a trustee, caregiver, funding, care instructions, and final wishes.
by Paul Suh • 1 October 2026
Learn five risks of leaving an outright inheritance and how a protective trust may help safeguard your children’s inheritance for the future.
by Paul Suh • 22 September 2026
Your IRA trust may need a 2026 review. Learn how SECURE Act rules, taxes, and beneficiary designations can affect your family's inheritance.
17 September 2026
You did it. You made a will. Maybe you've been meaning to get it done for years, or maybe something finally prompted you to take that important step. Either way, you now have something in place to tell your family and the court what you want to happen to your assets when you die. That's worth celebrating. But here's what I want you to know: making a will is the beginning of estate planning, not the end. A will doesn't address several important pieces, and overlooking them can leave your family with unnecessary court involvement, confusion, or financial headaches. If you already have a will, this is the checklist I recommend reviewing next. First, Understand What You Actually Signed A will is a legal document that tells a court what you want to happen to your assets after you die. That's the scope of it. It does not keep your family out of court. In most states, assets that pass through a will must go through probate, which is a public process that can take months, cost thousands in fees, and freeze your assets while it's happening. A will also only controls what's in it, not what you said. If you told someone you were leaving them your car and it isn't reflected in the document, that person may contest the will in court. Will contests are more common than most people realize, and even unsuccessful ones add cost, delay, and family conflict to an already difficult time. A will also does not control assets that have their own beneficiary designations: your retirement accounts, your life insurance, your bank accounts with transfer-on-death designations. Those pass outside your will entirely, by whatever name is on the form you filled out, sometimes years ago. And a will does nothing if you're incapacitated rather than dead. If you're in an accident and can't make decisions for yourself, your will doesn't activate. Your family may have no legal authority to manage your finances or make medical decisions without going to court first. The bottom line: A will is not a complete plan. Here's what building the rest of it actually looks like. Step 1: Your Beneficiary Designations May Already Be Overriding Your Will Most people don't realize this when they sign their will: an entirely separate set of documents already controls who gets a significant portion of their assets. Those documents are your beneficiary designation forms, and they operate completely outside of your will. Here is the part that matters. When your will conflicts with a beneficiary designation, the form wins. Every time. A judge does not have the authority to override it. Your will does not have the authority to override it. Whoever is named on that form gets the money. What I see most often: a former spouse still named on a retirement account. A parent who has since passed away. A child named directly as a beneficiary, which means that money is now subject to court-supervised guardianship until they turn 18, regardless of what your will says about how you wanted it managed. Every retirement account, life insurance policy, and bank account with a transfer-on-death designation needs to be reviewed. Each one needs a named primary beneficiary and a contingent beneficiary that reflects your family as it actually is today, not as it was the first week of your first job. Key takeaway: Your will does not control your beneficiary designations. Your beneficiary designations control themselves. Reviewing every form is one of the first things I walk through with every family in a Life & Legacy Planning® Session, because it is one of the most common places where an otherwise solid plan falls apart. Step 2: Find Out Whether Your Trust Is Actually Funded If you received a trust along with your will, ask one specific question: Are my assets actually in the trust? A trust only controls what is inside it. Signing a trust document creates a legal container. Transferring your assets into that container, which is called funding the trust, is a separate step that many families never complete. If your house, bank accounts, and investment accounts are still titled in your name rather than your trust's name, they will go through probate regardless of what the trust says. In my experience, unfunded trusts are one of the most common estate planning failures I encounter. Families pay for a trust, assume their estate is protected, and then their loved ones end up in probate court anyway because no one ever transferred the assets. The trust document is sitting in a folder. The assets never made it in. If you don't know whether your trust is funded, ask. If it isn't, funding it is the next priority. A trust you signed but never funded offers no more protection than no trust at all. Funding is not automatic. It has to be done deliberately, often with help.
by Paul Suh • 8 September 2026
Malcolm-Jamal Warner’s estate dispute highlights why estate planning requires more than documents. Learn how follow-through can protect your family.
by Paul Suh • 1 September 2026
Learn how guardianship works, when it becomes necessary, and how proper estate planning may help your family avoid costly court proceedings.
by Paul Suh • 25 August 2026
Learn how to encourage friends and family to create an estate plan with compassionate conversation starters that protect the people they love.
by Paul Suh • 18 August 2026
If your baby was born on or after January 1, 2025, the federal government has set aside $1,000 for your child. The account is available now. Contributions opened on July 4, 2026. And most families have not yet taken the step to claim it. The account is called a Trump Account. It was created by the One Big Beautiful Bill Act, signed into law in 2025, and it is one of the most significant new financial tools for young families in years. A seed investment that grows tax-advantaged for up to 18 years can become something meaningful by the time your child is ready to use it. Here is what you need to know, and what you should do next. What Is a Trump Account? A Trump Account is a tax-advantaged investment account created for a child. For every U.S. citizen born between January 1, 2025 and December 31, 2028, the federal government has committed to making a one-time $1,000 deposit, provided the child has a valid Social Security number. Beyond that government seed contribution, parents, grandparents, and other family members can contribute up to $5,000 per year. Before making personal contributions beyond claiming the $1,000 deposit, it's worth a call with your attorney first. There are unsettled regulatory questions about the gift tax treatment of family contributions that are still being worked out, and the right answer for your family depends on your specific situation. Employers can contribute up to $2,500 per year through a qualified written plan. If you own your own business, that means you could potentially contribute both as a parent and as an employer, for a combined $7,500 per year in additions to the account. The government's $1,000 does not count against either limit. The account is structured as a type of individual retirement account for the child. The account grows through stock market returns on a tax-deferred basis, meaning no taxes on the growth while the funds are invested, but ordinary income tax applies when distributions are eventually taken. The funds cannot be withdrawn before the child turns 18. At 18, the account converts to an IRA the young adult controls directly, though distributions before age 59½ are subject to income tax and a 10% early withdrawal penalty. That 18-year window is significant: a $1,000 deposit growing at a modest 7 percent average annual return becomes roughly $3,400 at maturity, without any additional contributions. Add even moderate contributions from family members over those years and the account can represent a meaningful head start. How the account is invested matters, and that is an active decision you make when you open it. Trump Accounts are not limited to babies born in the 2025 to 2028 window. Any child age 17 or younger with a valid Social Security number can have an account opened on their behalf. The free $1,000 pilot contribution, however, is only available for children born in that four-year window. The bottom line: A Trump Account is a federally seeded, tax-advantaged investment account for your child. The $1,000 is yours to claim. The contributions you add on top grow alongside it for up to 18 years. How to Open One  To open a Trump Account, families can file a one-page Form 4547 with the IRS or use the online portal at TrumpAccounts.gov. Contributions may begin as of July 4, 2026. The form walks through basic information about the child, including their Social Security number. If your child does not yet have a Social Security number, you will need to obtain one before completing the filing. To claim the government's $1,000 pilot contribution, you must make an affirmative election on the form: check the box in Part III, line 7. That election is what triggers the deposit. The account can be open and active without it, but without that election, no pilot contribution follows even though the account is up and running.